Off-limits

I find it quite interesting that I have an adult blog which I have discussed and posted my thoughts on many subjects. I feel free to discuss such things as: my submission to my Master, His control over me, anal sex, fisting, my fantasies, spanking, discipline, pissing etc. However, there are some topics that even for me, someone who considers herself very open to new possibilities and very open-minded, I think twice about posting about. I even thought twice before admitting about our masturbation lifestyle.

In today’s society, where fetishes are becoming more and more accepted, I still think twice before posting on some topics. But why, when sexual practices are less taboo than they used to be, do I hesitate on sharing my thoughts about some things? Because even though we have become more accepting towards others and their ‘interests’, some topics, I feel, are still off limits, and that I might be judged in a negative manner should I talk openly about them. None the less, that’s what I’m about to do.

Two topics in particular that I still feel have negative connotations are animal sex, and female body hair. Let these two topics sink in, and think about how you feel about them. Is it negatively or positively?

Maybe they don’t interest you, maybe they turn you on, and maybe they repulse you. But these are two topics that I could have posted about many times and haven’t. And I haven’t because honestly, I worry that I might get negative comments about what I say or that what I say would turn some readers away from coming back and reading my blog. Sure I could delete the comments (which I don’t want to do) or not write about them (which I have been doing), but I think today is as good a day as any to change that.

I’m not saying that I’ve had sex with animals, but it is a fantasy of mine. Whether I act on this or not in the future is irrelevant, because up until this point I haven’t felt comfortable admitting here that this is one of my fantasies and something that does turn me on. I’m not talking about animals in general or saying that I want to try having sex with as many male animals as I can, but I do fantasise about having sex with dogs and to a lesser extent horses. That’s as far as it goes with me, but everyone is different and I’m sure there are others out there that would want to try it with more than just a dog or a horse, and that’s cool.

Now onto female body hair, the other topic that I haven’t felt comfortable discussing here before now. We as women are taught from a young age that it is not beautiful or feminine to be sporting hairy armpits, legs, or facial hair. This is what razors are for, to get rid of that unsightly hair and thus be more appealing to the opposite sex.

Now I’m not a big one for facial hair on women, and I don’t have to worry about this, but there are women out there who do. It is their choice as to whether they keep this or get remove it, and I support their decision. The same goes for armpit and leg hairs as far as I’m concerned. It is a woman’s personal choice if she wants to keep it or remove it.

For me, I’m not being lazy when I don’t shave my legs. It’s a chore for me. I can’t see much clearly without my glasses unless it’s within a few inches of my face. This makes shaving my legs a tiresome task with spots always missed. Sure when I was just hitting puberty the idea of finally being able to shave my legs was exciting, but back then I could see more than I can now, and I bought into the media’s idea of what beauty is determined by. Now on the other hand, it’s a different story.

I’m not a tree-hugging hippy feminist and I don’t burn my bras, but I prefer to have hair on my legs. Yes I do shave, but far infrequently than I’m told I should. I always used to shave my legs before Master came to visit, because I didn’t want him to see me as not being feminine enough. Now I don’t. Why? Well, yes it’s my choice, but it’s also something He loves. Yes you read that right, He loves my legs being hairy. He would much prefer to touch my legs when they are covered in hairy growth than when I’ve just shaved them. Why? It’s a fetish of His, this is just who He is, and I couldn’t be more happy about that. I get to be me, and He loves me all the more for that.

I haven’t shaved my legs in almost 8 months, and yes I’ve been through Winter, Spring and Summer like this (and soon to be Autumn). I used to be self-conscious about wearing anything other than jeans or long pants that didn’t cover my hair. I would worry that people were staring at my legs, assuming I was some kind of hippy or feminist or both. And I’m not saying being either of those things is bad, it’s just not the reason for me not shaving my legs. So what about now? How am I now going out in public not having hair free legs? I do it and I wear shorts and skirts and people can see I have hairy legs, but I don’t care. I stand tall and true to myself, because this is me. And if they want to look and think negatively about me, then I say “Go right ahead”. What they think or feel doesn’t affect me. I am me and I will continue to be me.

Armpit hair I do have, although I don’t let it get too long. An inch is the longest it’s been (and some of you are probably reading this and thinking “An inch…and that’s not too long?”). I don’t grow it any longer because of personal hygiene reasons, and that’s my choice. How does He like it? I hear you ask. Well, He’s the one who encouraged me in the first place. I wasn’t opposed to it, but I wasn’t exactly for it either. How times have changed. My armpit hair and leg hair turns Him on, which in turn, turns me on. So here I am, saying it loud and proud that I am a hairy woman. Will I change my mind down the track? Possibly, but then again I may not. As long as we’re both happy, then that’s all that matters really. What other people think and feel about my body hair, as I said before is irrelevant. I will continue being true to myself until the day I die. After all, it’s me that has to live with it. And it certainly isn’t my job to keep everyone happy. I do what makes me happy period.

Lucy

Last Night

Last night I was sitting at home, watching tv and waiting for the time to pass until it was time to speak with Him. What a surprise it was, just at that moment that I received a text message from Him. Even more surprising was the content. He was unwell last year and His immune system hasn't fully been restored back to normal because of this. As a result of this and other things, we haven't been playing as much as we'd both like to. (No, nothing is wrong between us, it's just unfortunate circumstances). Anyway, back to the message I received.

It was just over an hour until we were due to talk and the message simply said: "Have your toys ready later slut". *Sigh* Talk about butterflies. I love it when He commands something of me, but especially when it is by a text message. Although we're apart (not for much longer), I love that He sends me a text and I am immediately comforted, knowing He's thinking of me. And even more so, knowing that having my toys ready meant that He was going to let me masturbate later.

For the next hour or so, all I could manage to think about was Him and what was to come. If you're read previous posts of mine, such as this one, then you know that our sex life is different to most people's. We do not have sex in the traditional sense any more, instead we masturbate while watching one another and helping out when it's wanted/required. Now, as much as I love to masturbate (and I do!), the anticipation that leads up to masturbating is something I really enjoy as well. If I know that I will be masturbating later or at a particular, my arousal is heightened.

Take for instance last night...normally I have my arse full with what I think most people would call a large butt plug, but what I would refer to as medium. As well as this, I have my cunt full with a generous (read: long, thick) vibrator. I didn't even get close to even wanting anything in my cunt (and sometimes this happens), and last night was one of those nights.

Although I did lube up my butt plug in my cunt, it didn't stay there for long until I asked Him for permission to fill my arse. From here on in, I was fucking my arse and playing with my clit, and I didn't feel like I was missing anything from my cunt. Last night was just one of those nights where my enjoyment for having my arse stimulated was higher than my desire to have my cunt fucked. Most likely due to the fact that it's been awhile since a masturbation of mine has been all about my arse.

Needless to say, the difference in masturbation did the trick and it took all of my strength to hold off until He was pleased and gave me permission to orgasm. And it was all topped off by Him commanding me to orgasm. Mmm, happy times.

Life Changes

It really is quite amazing how in the time span of a number of days a person’s outlook on the future can change. I’m in the process of organising my life, so that I can move towns and start a new chapter of mine with the one that I love.

Now this in itself is daunting enough for me, when I’ve always lived at home with my family and have lived in the same place and same home my whole life. However, things seem so much less daunting and less frightening when I know that I have the love and support of my partner. Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I haven’t had the love and support from Him; it’s just that it has been cemented now.

I’m quite independent, and not too keen on having to rely on others, unless it’s necessary. And even then I have to push myself into not feeling as if I’m putting this other person out, or that I’m being an inconvenience for them. So the fact that I’m moving towns to be with the one I love, and that I won’t instantly have a job or a high paying one because I’m still a student is difficult for me. I don’t like having to ask for money from someone else, and it dints my pride having to do so. To me, asking for money because I don’t have any is admitting that I need help, and I hate having to be financially dependent on another person. This is primarily due to the fact that I’ve always lived with my family up until now, and when you get to a certain age you don’t want to have to run to them every time you’re short on cash and need some. You get to a certain age where you want your independence, and you want it completely (financial independence included).

In the months to come, I know that I’m going to have to deal with situations that I’ve never had to before, and I am looking forward to it. In saying that though, I am not such much concerned about this, but a little overwhelmed. I think that would be the best way to describe it. I’m not apprehensive, because I want and need to take this journey for myself. I can liken it to when you first get a boyfriend (or girlfriend) in high school. Everything’s all new, and you think you know how it should all work, you’ve read about it, you’ve spoken about what it’s going to be like, and then when you actually get there, you have a flashbulb moment and you think to yourself “Shit! I really don’t know what I’m doing!” and reality hits you hard.

I’m not ignorant to the fact that I am in for an interesting journey, with many new situations that at the moment I think I know how to deal with them. However, I can guarantee that probably sooner rather than later I’m going to have that flashbulb moment, and I probably will panic a little, but I will just have to remember than although I don’t know exactly what I am doing, it’s my time to learn. This journey will be my learning curve to gain experience and confidence in those areas and situations in which I’m not familiar with at present. And although I am relatively positive I’ll panic and that there will probably be some tears when I’m so overwhelmed with it all, that really what it’s all about. For me, the best part is that I have a loving and supportive partner that is going to help guide me through all these new experiences to help me gain the experience and confidence that He has from doing it all before. Although it will be different for Him this time round, the basic premise will be the same.

All I can say is that this year is going to be full of first experiences and on hell of a ride…and I can’t wait!! (insert great big grin here).

An obsession

I really do love having my nipples pierced! As if I needed another excuse for me to be further stimulated by something new and different (I didn't!).

I find myself looking at them more and more, touching them, stimulating them, trying to determine if the fact that I have my nipples pierced is noticeable in the tops I wear.

More frequently I'm finding myself pulling on my nipples, tweaking them, pinching them, flicking them so that they are more noticeable through the tops I wear.

Am I obsessed? Perhaps. Maybe I'm just intrigued. Or it could possibly be that I just enjoy playing with my new toys as much I can.

Bath time

I’ve always enjoyed shower time from as early as I can remember. There’s just something so relaxing about the water washing over me. For just those few moments in time, it’s almost as if all the troubles of the day drain down the plug hole. To be completely honest, I’m too self-indulgent and spend too much time in the shower. I know I should be more water wise, but surely we’re all allowed to be a little selfish now and then aren’t we?

I think it’s safe to say that I enjoy shower time more than most people. I remember being on a camp when I was in primary school, I think I was about 12, and we had a 3 minute time limit on showers. As soon as I heard this, my immediate thought was “that can’t be right. How can anyone get clean let alone enjoy their shower in such a short amount of time?” Needless to say, I tried to adhere to the time limit, but did go over, but not by much because we were being timed. Another example of how much I enjoy my showers was also when I was about 5 years old and I flat out refused to hop out of the shower because I liked it so much. My mum tried to coax me out, and so did my grandmother, but both of them failed. Then my grandmother went and talked to my grandfather. When she came back in, he was with her and I can distinctly being able to see him through the glass doors, and hearing her tell me that he had a glass of ice cold water that he would use if I refused to get out. That did it for me. Although I didn’t want to get out, it was a better option than being drenched in ice cold water. Another time at home I was enjoying the feeling of the water trickling all over my body, I actually fell asleep.

Now what does my enjoyment of shower time have to do with anything? I do have a point, trust me.

Now, although I’ve always loved having a shower, I also love having a bath. Relaxing in a tub full of water (and preferably bubbles), closing my eyes and just enjoying the sensation, just feels so good. I’ve never had the luxury of being able to have a bath too often over the years, which is why when I get the chance, I milk it for all its worth.

Spending over 3 weeks with Him was wonderful, in so many ways, but a special bonus was that the house he’s in has a bath tub (heaven!), although it could be bigger. I couldn’t wait to have a bath, and although He had some bath stuff there that I’ve used before, it’s not real bubbly and I wanted to go all out and have a true bubble bath. So first chance I got when I went shopping that’s what I bought. The brightest bottle of kid’s bubble bath I could find! He just shook His head at me when I showed Him, but when you haven’t been able to enjoy too many bubble baths growing up, you compensate later, and well that’s what I did anyway.

So one night, I figure I’ll draw the bath and have some fun with my bubbles. Truth be told, I could have had more bubbles (and another time I did), but this time I just settled for a moderate amount. I eased into the bath, and was lying on my back, with my head resting on the end. Now the tub isn’t that big, so in this position most of the top half of my body was exposed. It might sound silly, but I felt quite naked, so I covered what wasn’t underwater in heaps of bubbles. To me, I felt quite sexy. Here I was lying in a bath full of bubbles, with the half my body that was out of the water selectively covered in bubbles.

It was at this point that I wanted Him to come and join me in the bathroom. Although I wouldn’t have complained if He had have hopped in with me, that’s not what I wanted. I wanted Him to come and take pictures of me, feeling sexy, covered in bubbles. I’m His little girl, and I wanted Him to be able to look back in years to come and smile at the photos of me enjoying myself, surrounded and covered by bubbles. And I wanted Him to enjoy taking pictures of His little girl, splashing about, having fun at bath time.

I should have just told Him that this is what I wanted, but I didn’t. I really did feel like His little girl at that moment. I was afraid He would think I was being silly, wanting Him to take pictures of me in the bath, so I didn’t tell Him what I wanted, I didn’t ask, and the pictures never got taken. Quite a few times I almost called out to the other room where He was and asked Him, but then I thought again that He would think I was being silly so I didn’t.

In the following days between my first bubble bath and the next one, I often thought I should just ask Him, but I never did. Even when I was having the next bubble bath (with heaps more bubbles) I wanted so desperately to be His little girl and have Him take pictures of me having fun in the bath, but He never did because I never asked.

I was not to know if He would have thought I was silly for wanting this, but that feeling was too strong, and that’s why I never asked. Who knows…maybe He would have enjoyed taking pictures of me, just as much as I would have had fun playing while He took the pictures.

I just wanted to be His little girl, enjoying her bath.

It's been awhile....

Hi everyone.

I know it's been awhile since I've updated here, sorry. I've just been enjoying the holidays, and all the new things I've experienced. I hope this finds you all well, and that you too have enjoyed sharing this time with your loved ones. I shall be back as soon as is possible.

Lucy xox